you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
