And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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