found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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