if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
