fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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