So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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