in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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