Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
