So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The adults are the big ones right?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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