All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
