so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
