so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
