no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
