You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
