The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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