Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
