FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
