Jerry, you need to find god
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
