so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
