you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
