I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
