So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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