She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
