oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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