You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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