Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
