Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
