I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Randomize
