I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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