Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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