Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
