I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
