i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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