Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's the barista slut.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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