i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
