oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
