lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
