evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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