At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's just like the Real World with babies
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
