Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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