I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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