none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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