i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
