oh god the rape fog is back!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
