why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
