I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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