So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
