Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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