I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
