i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
