This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
