I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
