its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
