I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
