I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
