All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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