just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
