All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
