So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
