Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
