Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
